Holiday Depression in Midlife

Why the Season Feels Heavier During Menopause — And How to Support Your Mental Wellbeing

For many women, the holiday season brings warmth, connection, celebration, and reflection. But for others, it arrives with a quiet heaviness, a mix of emotional overload, stress, grief, and unmet expectations. If you’re in the menopausal transition, these seasonal emotional challenges can feel even more intense.

Perimenopause and menopause are already a time of profound hormonal, neurological, and metabolic change. When this intersects with one of the most emotionally charged times of the year, depression can peak. Understanding what’s happening in the body, and learning how to support yourself, can make this season far more manageable.

Why Depression Peaks During the Menopausal Transition

1. Hormonal Fluctuations Affect Neurotransmitters

Estrogen and progesterone influence serotonin, dopamine, and GABA, the neurotransmitters that regulate mood, motivation, and calmness.
During perimenopause, fluctuating estrogen can trigger:

• Low mood

• Irritability

• Anxiety

• Emotional sensitivity

• Reduced stress tolerance

These changes heighten vulnerability to depression, especially when layered with seasonal expectations.

2. The Emotional Weight of Empty Nesting and Changing Family Roles

Midlife often brings profound identity shifts. Children grow up, move out, or become more independent. While this is a natural evolution, it can leave many women experiencing:

• A quieter home

• A sense of purpose shifting

• Grief for earlier family traditions

• Unexpected loneliness

The holidays magnify these feelings. What once felt bustling and full may now feel quiet or unfamiliar, intensifying sadness or longing.

3. Increased Loneliness, Even When Surrounded by Others

Loneliness at midlife isn’t just physical isolation; it can be emotional disconnection. Many women tell me they feel unseen, unheard, or unsupported, particularly during a season that expects joy.

Loneliness itself is a physiological stressor, affecting cortisol, inflammation, sleep, and neurotransmitter activity. During menopause, these impacts are even stronger.

4. Stress Load, Caregiving Pressure, and Holiday Expectations

Women in midlife often hold multiple responsibilities: supporting ageing parents, adult children, partners, work demands, and extended family dynamics.
The holidays add pressure to:

• Create meaningful experiences

• Host or coordinate gatherings

• Manage emotional needs of others

This emotional labour can deepen exhaustion and overwhelm.

5. Sleep Disruption

Night sweats, cortisol changes, melatonin fluctuations, and holiday routine disruptions impact sleep. Poor sleep reduces emotional resilience and increases the risk of depressive symptoms.

6. Blood Sugar Swings and Holiday Eating

Perimenopause increases sensitivity to blood sugar changes.
Sugar, alcohol, skipped meals, and festive grazing contribute to irritability, fatigue, and mood instability.

Lifestyle Strategies to Support Depression During the Holiday Season

You don’t need to overhaul your life, small supportive shifts can dramatically change how you feel.

1. Honour the Emotional Landscape of Empty Nesting

Allow yourself to acknowledge the grief, transition, and pride that coexist as your family structure evolves.
Reflect on what new traditions or connections might feel nourishing to you in this new chapter.

2. Actively Reduce Loneliness Through Meaningful Connection

Connection doesn’t require large gatherings.
Try:

• Scheduling a walk with a friend

• Calling someone supportive

• Joining a local event or class

• Volunteering for a cause you care about

Even brief, genuine interactions can reduce loneliness and improve mood.

3. Protect Your Energy With Clear Boundaries

Boundaries reduce overwhelm and help you stay emotionally centred.
This might include:

• Declining events that feel draining

• Simplifying holiday plans

• Asking for help with cooking or hosting

• Scheduling pockets of downtime

4. Support Sleep as a Non-Negotiable

Improving sleep can dramatically shift emotional wellbeing.
Try:

• Regular sleep and wake times

• A screen-free hour before bed

• Magnesium or calming herbs

• Reducing alcohol intake

• Cooling strategies for night sweats

5. Stabilise Blood Sugar

Stable blood sugar creates stable mood.
Use strategies such as:

• Eating protein with each meal

• Avoiding long gaps between meals

• Pairing sweets with protein or fibre

• Hydrating with electrolytes

• Reducing alcohol-induced glucose spikes

6. Move Your Body Daily

Movement lifts mood and reduces stress hormones.
Choose enjoyable movement like:

• Walking

• Yoga or Pilates

• Strength training

• Dancing

• Swimming

Ten minutes still counts.

7. Nourish Your Brain With Mood-Supportive Foods

Include foods that stabilise mood and support neurotransmitters:

• Omega-3 rich fish

• Colourful vegetables

• Berries

• Nuts and seeds

• Fermented foods

• Herbal teas

8. Limit Alcohol

Alcohol worsens sleep, hot flushes, anxiety, and next-day mood.
Mindful consumption helps protect emotional stability.

9. Create Gentle Daily Nervous System Rituals

Support emotional resilience with:

• Breathwork such as Paced Respiration

• Morning sunlight

• Grounding

• Warm baths with magnesium

• Journalling or quiet reflection

• Considering your 100 dreams activity

10. Allow Your Emotions to Be Valid

If the season brings grief, sadness, nostalgia, or overwhelm, let those feelings be acknowledged.
Suppressing emotion increases stress and depression.
Self-compassion creates healing.

When to Reach Out for Extra Support

If your mood is declining, if you feel persistently overwhelmed, or if coping through the holiday season feels harder than usual, please reach out. You don’t need to navigate this alone.

Lifestyle strategies can help, but sometimes personalised support is needed. 

Herbal support can also be incredibly valuable during this time. Calming and mood-balancing herbs such as withania, saffron, rhodiola, lemon balm, passionflower, or St John’s wort (where medication-safe) may help stabilise mood, reduce anxiety, and support restorative sleep. If you’d like guidance on what is appropriate for your specific situation, I’m here to help.

For tailored emotional and hormonal support, please feel welcome to contact me.

Crisis Support and Emergency Contacts

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, intense distress, or feel unsafe, please seek immediate support. Crisis services are available 24 hours a day.

Australia

• Lifeline: 13 11 14

• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

• Emergency: 000

United States

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988

• Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741

United Kingdom & Ireland

• Samaritans: 116 123

Canada

• 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: Dial 988

New Zealand

• 1737 Need to Talk: Call or text 1737

International Resources

If your country is not listed, you can find your local crisis line via:

• IASP: https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ 

• Befrienders Worldwide: https://www.befrienders.org 

If you are ever unsure, call your local emergency number.